_______不能说的秘密______

Sunday, October 22, 2006

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Hey... hehe... haven blog for a few days... got a few reason to it... 1stly... i too tired to do it.. 2ndly, it gota do wid mi spiritual and mental thinkin... hav been play BB for the pass few nites wid mi BB KAKIS... and 1 nite, one of mi friend ask me if got trainin on sat mornin anot... den i tell him no pple come got trainin also useless.... wat makes an impact is wat he say next...' the show haven start den end liao??' this is the question he ask me... which make me realli ponder on it... i rmb how hot i was on this BB team... it was a vision tat god gave me durin EMERGE... and now i am here already gave up more den 3/4 of it... i hav seen god's vision but i did not let it come to pass... i was unable to overcome failure... i hav fail once but i am scare tat i will fail again... haix... today cell grp was great n the god's pressence was great too... its oni when amanda speaks abt fulfillin our vision given by god, i started to feel god is so near to mi veri breath... the image n words tat mi friend was askin me keep on repeatin in mi mind.... i dono wat god realli wana tell me... later joceline call us to think abt wat god is showin in our mind.... den i find out tat god wana me to b a leader of mi grp of friends, bringin dem the good news( gospel).... u all can say, i think too much... but god's pressence is realli too real to deny... can u imagine the rm is not cold n i am feelin goosebumps all over mi body?? tats how real.... come back to subject, but how do i let this team come back to life?? the same thing might happen again?? wats this team for at the 1st place tat may attract pple to come back?? i am sure god has prepare somethin for us.. but wat is it?? i realli wana bring it back... but i don wana feel stress?? i knw its impossible... haha....

Joceline, sorri for today when u ask if ani1 got sumthin to share on wat god has show us den i nv share... i just dono y.. mayb i am unsure, mayb i am afraid, mayb i am embaress... i knw i shld'nt but i got some of this feelins at tat time, i don like pple to see mi as a failure... when i was being embaress infront of so many pple in super-star competition audition.. i tell miself tat i will not go into competition animore... cos i am afraid of failure of mockery... i knw u guys wont mock at me... but its sumthin tat is fixed in mi mind... i am a person who like to share abt mi things... but the thing i lack is confident... it happen in bb court also... i look like one of the worst player amoung mi grp of friends... i don hav advantage in BB... i am neither tall nor fat... i am just fast... wat can mi speed bring me to?? i knw alot pple don like to team wid me... so i try to find excuses to go home early... friends don blame me.. i don wana let u guys to lose a game bcos of mi.... mayb 1 day i might quit BB just like mi bro... lets just see wat is really prepared for me.... Joceline.. i believe our cell will grow n multiply.... don b discourage... being a leader is not easy.. being a GOOD leader is tougher... i believe and i can see, u r a great leader tat is still being mould by god... so go all the way... hehe.... such a long post adds up to last few days de post liao...

Signing Off On|10/22/2006 01:04:00 AM|

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